My world...dreams and questions....

Tuesday, April 25, 2006


यह भीगा सा सर्द मौसम
याद दिलाता है उस वक़्त की
जब साथ में हुआ करते थे हम।
तुम्हारी बाहों की गर्माहट
में वो सवाल-जवाब का सिलसिला
न भूल पाए हैं हम अब तक।
फ़िज़ाओं में महक है तुम्हारी
बारिश की बून्दों में छलक रहा है प्यार
कब आओगे है अब् यही इंतज़ार।
पल पल की है खबर नहीं
हम ज़िन्दगी की बात किया करते हैं
लगता है वक़्त बस ठहर जाये यहीं।
हम आपके आने के हैं मुन्तज़िर
कहीं खो न दें तुम्हें दोबारा
रास्ते पर नज़र टिकाये हुए हैं आज फिर।

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Friday, April 21, 2006

I DID IT!!!!

Yes!! he was so happy! I wish I could contain this happiness .. I wish that he'd be like this forever.. I want him n his heart to keep smiling forever...
I don't know where to start.. everything wants to pour out..
I didn't know it meant so much for him.. But I should hav guessed.... Shru n Amie were so happy... wishing teasing congratulating laughing smiling praying hoping...
Oh i think it was one of the happiest days of my life.. First, got his lovely e-mail after a long time.. (i had stopped counting the days now... had got used to no-mails...) he wanted to say something n hear something.. well even i m excited abt his speaking up.. want to hear everything that he has to say n hasn't said for the past 2 years... it's been a long wait for him.. i wasn't ready to listen (bad bad bad) n he waited as patient as ever...n then i met shru n amie n I couldn't hav asked for more for yesterday except for a chat with him... Would hav been just perfect... But anyways, it is ok..
n how can I forget, I missed the treat...

meri treat??
mujhe bhi treat chahiye :(
mujhe bhi treat chahiye :(

but i hope it won't be long now...don't know how long is long actually... i just hope that everything works well .... it is a long wait before we come to know abt that ...Praying to God sincerely...

Thanks for the song that u sang... I know I can't sing but what I can do is write it down here for u:
"Tu meri zindagi hai
Tu meri har khushi hai
Tu hi pyaar tu hi chahat,
Tu hi ashiqui hai...

Pehli mohabbat ka ehsaas hai tu,
Bujhke jo bujh naa paayi, woh pyaas hai tu
Tu hi meri pehli khwaahish, tu hi aakhri hai
Tu meri zindagi hai,
Tu meri har khushi hai....."

Thanks for everything!!!

My best wishes, prayers n hopes are always with u.. n will be there for u forever...
As for me, I'll try to stand beside u as long as I can.. I wish I stand there forever...

May God give u all you want in life.. Every happiness, every success, everything that u've ever wished for or wanted...May u never hav to see the face of sadness...Bless you.. Missing you desperately ..... Take care LOVE


Wednesday, April 19, 2006

क्युँ ??

क्युँ ऐसी किस्मत बन गयी है,

अपनी पर्छाई से भी डर लगता है,

सोचती हूँ जब अकेले में,

अपने हालात से डर लगता है।

ऐसे खालीपन के साथ ही शायद,

अब गुज़र बसर करना पड़े,

रास्ते के पत्थरों को शायद,

नज़र-अंदाज़ करके आगे बढना पड़े।

न चाहते थे जो वो आज हो रहा है,

मंज़िल की ओर जो रास्ता जाता है,

वो धुऐ में धुंधला सा नज़र आता है,

क्युँ हालात पर कभी-कभी तरस आता है?

किस्मत वाले हैं जो प्यार कर पाए हैं,

किस्मत वाले हैं जो प्यार पा सके हैं,

यही सोच कर उम्र काटनी पड़ सकती है,

सच के कड़वे घूँट पीने से कतराते हैं।

P.S. : If you are using Mozilla Firefox, there might be some discrepancies with the display of the font.

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Monday, April 17, 2006

Easy to lose faith?

Why is it so easy to lose faith in God? Why do we not see that God holds us when we fall down?
Why don't we believe that he is there..
Talking abt this friend of mine, who's utterly pained these days for thinking he is a failure. He says he's lost, he's drowned. I tried to make him understand, but to no avail. guessing a person forgets the brighter n better sides of things when he sees the gloomy side of it...

But why? Well yes, certain things aren't the way we want them to be. But still, there are other things in life worth caring for. Well, probably it is hard to look for a direction when things aren't right...
why can't he see the opportunities that are still there??

We always move on, but we find it hard to admit that. We hav to...

Well pain is not the question, it is its bearing. It is painful I know, but feeling pained doesn't help to make us feel better.

I don't know why God doesn't make us see Him, even when He is there...

It is so hard to accept the hard facts of life - that somethings are simply meant to be, and somethings are not the way we want them to be. We lose what we want at times. Why?

If He gave us these pains, he also gives us strength to overcome it. But why, at times that strength isn't enough for some of us? It hurts to see our friends n family in pain. Praying to God to help all those who don't want to fight and go ahead, coz they've failed...


Wednesday, April 12, 2006

What color should you be wearing???

What colour should you be wearing?

You should be wearing the colour....Blue!!! Blue is a colour which calms and soothes the soul. Blue, makes people feel comfortable, and content. You are a very relaxing person to be around, so blue is the ideal colour for you!
Take this quiz!

Sunday, April 09, 2006

ढूँढती हूँ ...

वो सुहाने दिन आज फिर ढूँढती हूँ,

ज़िन्दगी में करार आज फिर ढूँढती हूँ।

चल तो पड़ी हूँ तन्हा इस सफ़र पर,

अपने हाथ में फिर भी उसका हाथ ढूँढती हूँ।

शजर से टूटते हुए पत्ते बहुत देखे,

फिर भी खिज़ा की रुत् में बहार ढूँढती हूँ।

एह्सास है कि खो गयी हूँ समुँदर में

दूर दूर तक फिर भी किनारा ढूँढती हूँ।

तन्हाई और उदासी कि भीड़ में

उसकी एक झलक को ढूँढती हूँ।

अंधेरों से भरे इस जीवन में

उजाले कि एक किरण को ढूँढती हूँ।

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This happens too :(

Hmm, well that was a week before the exams. I was all working hard for them. 3 assignments, 3 exams used to keep me up through most of the night. Come Tuesday.. got a sore throat. Though I am not the kinds who goes to the doc so easily, I went on Wednesday itself for fear of my exams starting this saturday. Even my prof is like, "You aren't taking enough rest it seems..." The medicine kind of had an adverse effect on me... :( ... my health got worse with high fever following and cold too.. i still worked hard with the hope of getting better n being able to give my exams on the scheduled dates itself...
i feared that though.thursday morning found me coping ...n also brought a smile on my face .. because i was able to talk to my sweetheart.. after probably 3 months... well, it also brought tears to my eyes... my heart was overfilled.. i guess... hmm it ought to be...
thursday evening found me in a state hard to stay awake. worry killing me... hell breaking inside me.. tears forming at a rate more than i could pacify... fear breaking lose...
come friday, i went to the doctor again, n got a note signed saying i was too ill to give the exams... took complete rest... e-mailed my profs.. abt my comdition along with the note... one of them did not reply.. and was scaring the hell outta me... but some how, i am finally relieved that they all accepted that it wasn't a fake thing, n that i was seriously too ill to be able to give the exams...
But i do feel bad about not being able to give 'em on the day they were scheduled... i wanted to be free.. wanted to go shopping with my bro... wanted to relax a while after having a stressful semester... wanted to...........................................
i had thought that..................................................
fell short of words i guess... because there was so much i was looking forward to, specially after a bad bad bad bad semester... i was too tired to work more...
i don't know why this happened... but well, it did,... they say, " jo hota hai achche ke liye hota hai" ......
the only good probably being that i ll get enough time to study for them... but i didn't want to ... i was too stressed.. i had worked hard this semester... :(
n another bad thing is, i won't even get a break .. this really sucks...
But, again, despite all this, I am thankful to God for making my profs believe that I was n't lying...
hmm... everything happens for some good i suppose... I donno why this belief of mine tends to get shattered every now and then...