Randomly saying....

I was cleaning my e-mail accounts today because they had been over whelmed, and I noticed how much my interaction with him has decreased. It was about a year back when the e-mails we wrote to each other were as much as 10k. And now? Well we hardly have time for each other. We hardly care to know what's going on with the other. The assumption that all's-well-if-not-i'll-get-a-call kind of thing has crept in. Phone calls? Forget them... As for me, all I do is wait and for him, well time's something people of the first world countries are blamed of not having, but it's him who doesn't have it. When I complain, it's a fight ahead because I am not understanding. Ofcourse given that it's me on this side, I no longer complain - to him, that is. I ain't complaining here. Just felt the difference of how relations become stagnant and taken-for-granted with the passage of time, a little over a year in our case.

A friend

I guess I've lost mine....

Disappointment

What do you do when someone tells you that's he's very disappointed with you because of a decision you took? What do you do when life's at a place where someone has to sacrifice because of you? What do you do when relations are built forcefully rather than happily? What do you do when you know that some decisions are going to have an adverse affect on everything forever? What do you do when someone needs you but you aren't there for them even when you want to be?

Can you please replace the "you" with "me" up there? Can you care to answer me?

Can I go to hell?

I am Pegasus.... ;)

You Are a Pegasus

You are a perfectionist, with an eye for beauty. You know how to live a good life - and you rarely deviate from your good taste. While you aren't outgoing, you have excellent social skills. People both admire you - and feel very comfortable around you.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

My Graduation Day

11th June 2007 - the day I will remember as my graduation...


aaj aankh mein kajal lagate hue
ek aansoo ka katra paaya wahan
jahan honi chahiye thi khushi -
khushi ek manzil ko paane ki
khushi kuch ban ke dikhane ki
thi kami unki mere din mein
jinke khwab ko haqiqat kiya hai maine
jinke bharose ko nibhaya hai maine
jinke pyaar ko naap na paoongi kabhi
jinke sahare se sab paaya hai maine
meri prapti mein jisne garv mehsoos kiya
meri har khushi ko baanta hai unhone
aur meri har takleef ko door kiya
jab bhi apne seene se lagaya hai mujhe
sochti hoon, itna pyaar main kahi na paongi
kaise chali jaongi kisi aur ke ghar
ki door main apni jadon se hoke jee na paongi
ki toot jaongi door ho gayee agar...

My dad was not able to be a part of my Grad day. I missed him a lot...
And today again, it is Father's Day, and he isn't here... I so wish he'd be back soon. Dad, I love you. Happy Father's Day, and Thanks for being the world's bestest Dad.

The world of pretense

I pretend a smile when I don't feel like it
I pretend a tear when I can't do without it
I pretend calm when only that can help
I pretend a quite and no one can tell.

This world and its beings
Are unhappy in the happy
And happiness seems a lie.

This world and its beings
Are satisfied wih false praises
And I can't damn understand why.

This world and its beings
Are incapable of talking truth
'Cause truth is so dry.

Can you feel and can't you feel
Is it really there or really not there
Two questions and we get one answer.

Feelings and realities
Emotions and expressions
Two diferent things but we get one definition

This world of pretense
Will not change sometime soon
As it is the source of a lot of happiness...

Scattered Leaf

A leaf fell, scattered;
A leaf lost from it's roots
A leaf away from it's own
A leaf in a new world.

It will not survive long ....
It will not survive
The harsh tests of time,
And of life too.

Is it a verdict?
It is a truth lay hidden
underneath leaves and leaves
of pretense.

The face of Death

She knocks, (she disguises), she freezes.
She comes, (she sees), she conquers.
She stops, (she dominates), she leaves.


She comes, yes; and she conquers, yes. But does she see, disquise or dominate, I have no absolute clue. Does she have time enough to disguise, see or dominate?

From the knock to the vanishment, it could be a second to I don't know how long, it could be a tinge of pain to I don't know how much. It could mean eternity or it could mean suffering. It could be a blessing or a curse (I personally assume the worst curse God put on man was to grant him a life).

I wonder what it feels like to be walking away with someone from whom initially we are scared to "death". I wonder why we are so afraid to walk away with her when we know for sure that the life after now would certainly be less hellish than this one. I wonder why we moan for people who leave us? Is it for them that we moan or for us? Is it so necessary to moan if you heard about a death even when the person as a live person wasn't much to you?

Human nature and it's intricacies amaze me to the extent that I sometimes think is it normal to think; is it normal to be out of the norms. Is it inhumane to think far above and beyond?

I know it's something not anyone/everyone would want to read. I am sorry for putting it up here, but I am desperately intrigued thinking that I am inhumane and perhaps, to an extent, unfeeling.

Bus ek baar

Woh pal pal ko mehkati khushiyan
Woh waqt bewaqt aati siskiyan
Bus ek baar aur jeena chahti hoon unhe

Woh saari ki saari galatiyan
Woh athkheliyan aur nadaniyan
Bus ek baar aur karna chahti hoon unhe

Woh doston ke baahon ke sahare
Woh yaadein jo baaki hain paas hamare
Bus ek baar aur yaad kar lena chahti hoon unhe

Woh roothne-manaane ka khel
Woh pyaar se bhara dilon ka mel
Bus ek baar aur dekhna chahti hoon unhe