My world...dreams and questions....

Saturday, March 10, 2007

An experience to learn from...

I guess I will never forget today's day. Went for a movie with friends - walking for 40 minutes in minus some degrees temperature, with no gloves and cap on, and breathing heavily. Well the walk was supposed to be 8 minutes, which is quite agreeable. But nevertheless, that's what we ended up with. I could've handled that. But what's been really annoying and frustrating for me today was that we weren't really walking together. It was probably a kind of race to get to the theatre first, more than anything - more than the fact that the area was new, more than the fact that some people were walking behind the rest, more than the fact that some people were walking slower than the rest, more than the fact that the snow wasn't really somewhere you'd want to walk alone tripping and saving your own self from falling. I want to say more right now, but I think it's a good idea to not to write when you're angry about something. I was short of breadth by the time we reached, and half-sick :-).

Me, who thinks she can handle every damn thing in life, wasn't really wanting to tell anyone about the pain I was feeling in my chest. I suck at that. I know I do. And Sh was right in saying today that it's been quite a while since we know each other and I behave formally. I donno. I so miss those college friends whenever something happens, that I wish they were here. Because they could certainly have walked with me. Because they could've matched their pace with mine - coz I walk slow.

But well, I was on the verge of crying because someone like V who I assume is the fastest walker I've seen, can walk slow when he walks with me. Or rather, walked. Or I could have rightfully shouted at him and asked him to walk with my pace. But somehow, I don't feel that I have a right on them as much as I did on those people. Probably it's the time. It probably is the time. I was with them for 3 years almost, and I am with them for about less than a year. That's simply me; rebelling against myself, for what I feel, think and believe. And I refuse to learn, because I refuse to do what ought to be done when you are dissatisfied with the way others around you weave phases of your life along with you.

6 Comments:

  • Who are you?! I have never read anything like this stuff before! I am just searching for sorry stuff and this came up. I just have tears reading some of the stuff because it relates soooo perfectly to my pyaar kahani..

    By Blogger Unknown, at 3/11/2007 7:23 PM  

  • I dont think those guys are your friends.All of you could have taken a leisurly walk together,whats with racing to see who gets there first.behaving like kids.Next time don't walk with them or you have to sit them down and tell them how you feel.

    By Blogger starry, at 3/12/2007 3:37 PM  

  • don't know why i felt touched by your description..last weekend an old friend was with me and i said to myself..why does it feel so different? why can i just sit here and know my silence will be understood..

    By Blogger divya, at 3/17/2007 2:31 PM  

  • Hey human power generator,
    I am just one of the pawns of His game. I am sorry for bringing tears into your eyes, but it's just that this is the place I like to dump all the feelings I have that would pinch the people whom I love...
    All the best to you in life ...
    Cheers!

    By Blogger meet_me, at 3/21/2007 2:29 AM  

  • umm yeah starry ... i suck !!!! :-s

    By Blogger meet_me, at 3/21/2007 2:29 AM  

  • Divya,
    U got it!!! Friends are just so special.... :-)
    Cheers!!!

    By Blogger meet_me, at 3/21/2007 2:30 AM  

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