My world...dreams and questions....

Thursday, September 07, 2006

My side of the story....

Among all the things that humans worry about, is the need for love, a need for security and a dire need for being able to make sure that our loved ones are living a comfortable life. Well, I am in the midst of a turmoil. A family who's been the world's best family God could ever have created on the one hand, and a country I've loved always on the other hand. A secure, safe, independent future and the ability to help and support my family on one hand, and someone who's half my world for me on the other hand. A choice I've already made, but it always makes me want to revise it. Something that tells me that certain things in life are above emotions and that somethings in life are simply there to be regretted.
Besides that, I've completely lost track of myself. I've forgotten who I am, I've been pissed off more often than I can afford to. I've been feeling like a loser. A person who's lost her aim, who's lost in life. And who's lost to life her life itself. There's so much I would want to say. There's so much I would love to talk about. There's much more than that I would want some advice about. It is hell depressing. I just wish I could jabber like this cousin of mine, who can speak non-stop - even when nobody's interested in what she is saying. Well, probably she's able to take that fountain of misery out. I suffer damn lot. I want to speak up. But I fear hurting. I hate myself.
I got a piece of advice - keep your mind pre-occupied. But who would trust me saying that I am not able to do it, with no purpose, reason, aim, wandering into a vicinity that stretches out beyond horizon, beyond the flamboyant colors that we, as humans are expected to see?
There's nothing more a loser wants to say.

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4 Comments:

  • Kehney ko bahut hai, par ufff...kambhaqt yeh din main sirf 24 ghantey kyon hotey hain..jab aap online milogi tabhi keh doonga...take care..dont feel confused..take life as it comes..bye

    By Blogger Peenuts, at 9/18/2006 10:32 AM  

  • I guess its a phase that most of us go through, albeit the differences in environment. Just hang on right there, and this too would pass...

    :)

    By Blogger Movie Mazaa, at 9/19/2006 8:00 AM  

  • i said something long, which got deleted. ab kya kahun, just hang on there dost. i feel the way u r feeling these days. take care.

    By Blogger delhidreams, at 9/20/2006 9:09 AM  

  • :)
    smile an ever lasting smile....
    by the way ....sorry ive been absent from coming hgere and commenting...inspite of reading all this.....but well today i thought i wil start reading ur thing fvrom the begining....just finished.....
    all i say is pheebes thanks for being thr for me.....even wen i was irritatingly blunt and stubborn abt my sadness.....
    and well im here for u too....incase u nbeed me and ur not angry with me.....

    By Blogger Aparna Mudi, at 10/10/2006 1:05 PM  

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