Not a good day...

I don't know what exactly is happening. I m blue as hell and bored to death along side. I am tired of all the songs my system has been playing non-stop for the past few weeks. I am feeling as if I am caught somewhere where I shouldn't be.
No one to even chat with on messenger. This Venezualan guy talking to me right now has offered to bring chocolates for me from Venezuela... Ah! well....
I remember holidays in India were boring too - because I missed my friends and didn't like to be home for more than 2 days at a stretch. But then, those were the friends who would always have something to talk about even after 2 - 3 days. Life was good. It's a different thing that they've kind of forgotten me. Mr. Busy is a bit better these days, trying to enjoy himself. Shru is on her way to hell. This girl makes me feel like I should be sticking out to her all the time. When will she learn the ways of this bl**dy world? God help her. I've mailed her a crappy and cold mail today, but I was too pissed off at the way she is steering her life. And with her ears and eyes shut so that she could ignore the audible or visible signs/warnings. Jas - yeah, he's the one who does talk to me more often than others, although he's been complaining for quite some time that I don't come online that often. Yeah that's true, but I myself don't know why or what's wrong with me or there's something I need or something I am lacking.
Adi's blog made me feel worse. I do wish life wasn't that harsh at all. Shadows, dear I've been needing to talk to you for quite some time. I miss talking to u a lot. Trust me I do.
We are expecting this girl at our house today who's new to Toronto, and has been crying a lot, because it's hard to survive without parents and all. Makes me remember the time we were new here. I had never cried in front of my family just so that it won't add to their already-existing worries and blueness. I had cried myself to bed so damn often. I had thought he's forgotten me so easily with no mail signed by him in my mail-box. Trying to get away. Huh!
The only things that has changed for me now is no other friends' mails, his mails :-), me probably getting hard-hearted than ever, me probably being more capable of working out things for myself, rather than depending on friends.... and i think, i'd still have a hundred listings in this short list.
Nothing else would change with time, except this short list.... I don't know how many times would this change before I am gone ....