Note to a Diary

A diary! My diary!
That was about 4-5 years back I had become so obssessed with diary writing. I somehow came to remember that pretty n fat diary with a lovely picture of Lord Krishna drawn on the front cover. It can be called an irony as I was never a believer of God then. Makes me laugh at thinking how immature n childish i was then, writing all sorts of non-sense. Well some truths, but a lot of untruths which I believed then.
How much we change with time. How much we learn as we progress.
Probably I had become more mature as I quit writing diary. Well I donno whether it was a mature decision or not, but certainly good one in some ways. Mind doesn't remain poisoned with evil thoughts long after they are gone, having a diary makes you revisit those loathesome moments... most of them written under utter sadness n depression.
For a person like me who travels to the past whenever she gets time, probably it makes sense. But then, my blogs do that for me now. Take me back. Well, the blog that I had before this one has been somehow deleted or "suspended" (as they like to call it) by the website owners, which is making me so mad. I've lost my diary.... n those moments, n those thoughts that had taken form of words....
I agree it was a painful blog, a veryyyyy painful one, but it didn't deserve that punishment. Nor did I. I agree I hadn't been writing much on it these days, but still it didn't deserve to get deleted. And nor did I deserve to be lonely without a partner in loneliness.
Well I still have this one... But I hate losing my stuff...
I am not to b blamed for this loss ... :( But may b I am ... Why did I not save it at some place if it was this dear?
Well, perhaps it was to go as my life took an unexpected turn ... and perhaps leaving those memories was the wisest thing to do.....
But whatever.....
A friend called today after probably 6 months, may be more ... And well he compensated by taking for about 1/2 an hour. It was great ... :)
Life gets busier after college. They all keep telling me, "I haven't forgotten you, just that I've gotten busy...... " I donno why I cease to listen and understand at times ...
And life changes so much. Some of them are now having a girl friend, some of them broke up with their girl friends, some of them broke up with their friends .... It's perhaps life's little tricks to keep us hooked to it, perhaps life's varied games to keep us off a monotonous path....
Every Alice meets Bob for a reason, and that reason isn't known to them .... The game life plays is so tricky that Alice doesn't know Bob, and when she meets him, she doesn't know it's this Bob that's meant to be hers forever ....

Oh just realized, I moved from a few reminiscences to anger to thankfulness to philosophy....
N i can't somehow see how they all are related.......
That's life!!!!!!